Big week for Graeme

Turning 3 appears to set off a number of milestones for Graeme. Upon returning from the beach we decided that Graeme needed to sleep in the toddler bed, for real. Not just occasionally when he felt like it or when we pushed the issue. But, for real. All the time. The crib was his comfort zone, obviously. He could and did easily climb in and out of it, and has for months. He just never wanted to go to the toddler bed that we purchased a year ago and we didn't have any reason to push the issue. Now we do. Ian needs to be out of my bed....now.....we need a space for him to sleep. We tried using the Pack 'n Play, but it killed our backs lifting him in and out of it and soothing a crying baby while standing at a 90 degree angle ain't fun. Ian needs the crib.

Graeme slept in a bunk bed at the beach so it was no problem for him to transition to the toddler bed when we returned. His only request is that we "sleep with me," which we've been agreeing to do.

Next milestone is potty training. I already wrote about that. We are moving along with it. No one seems to be in any great hurry.

Monday, following the prodding of his teacher, we decided to ditch the pacifier. He really only uses it for nighttime sleep, but that almost always bleeds over into other parts of the day because it's the quickest way to, well pacify him. Rides in the car. Trips to the grocery store. A skinned knee. Before you know it he's using it frequently and when he has it in his mouth he's a mush. A clingy mush. I love the clingy mush, but also feel like it's time for him to be a bit less attached to it. Oh, I don't know why. Just seems like it's time. We just went cold turkey with the thing and blamed the dentist. The dentist said "no more pacis." He's only been once and liked it fine, but I'm pretty sure he has no idea who the dentist is, but he does seem to be responding to the authority she has over his pacifier use. So far we are on night 4 without it and he's doing well. He asks for it every night and Steve hands him all sorts of replacements....a dinosaur, brush, diaper cream, book...Graeme thinks this is hysterical and it usually diverts him away from the real deal. I'm so damn proud of him.

Tonight was night 1 of getting Ian to sleep in the crib. It was an ugly mess until 9:45PM when I finally collapsed into the toddler bed with both Graeme and Ian, admitting defeat. Before I knew it, however, they were both sound asleep and I was able to slip Ian back into the crib. I don't want to jinx myself by talking about it too much.

In the midst of all these developmental leaps I find myself feeling sad. As much as I'd like to throw paci out of the window some days (when G has whined for it for 30 straight minutes). As much as I need more than 30 consecutive minutes of sleep (which is impossible with twicheraumus-Ian in bed). As much as I'd like to stop buying size 6 diapers (though I must admit that changing diapers has never, ever bothered me). As much as I want my kids to be strong, independent, productive, loving, active members of society. I still want to cuddle them closely and wipe away their tears and do silly dances. And I know that pacifiers and sleeping with your mama do not exist alongside organizing a march for a cause dear to your heart and landing your dream job. I guess that while they do not exist simultaneously, but they do exist along the same life plane. It's just that I want to freeze this moment in time and hope that I can cherish it for a long time while also helping my kids become good people.