Unanchored Thoughts

Bits and pieces of musings about family, friends, social issues, and whatever else travels through my head without a purpose.

Monday, March 10, 2008

I'm Tired

I think I've finally hit the point where you could call me chronically sleep deprived. I function fairly well for the most part, but I never really feel fully energized. I'm either hyper-energized on adrenalin or I'm kind of just pushing through the day. Everything I do happens in 10 minute snippets - eat a quick breakfast, take a quick shower, do a quick load of laundry, send a few emails, read a quick econ article, change a diaper, set up a craft project, clean up a craft project, throw together dinner, take a quick run, I could go on and on. I can operate this way on very little sleep because no one task takes much energy and I'm constantly moving so there's no time to relax (and sleep). But, of late I've felt like the crazy energy is more prominent than the balanced energy and it makes me prone to feeling moody, weepy, agitated, excitable. I try to embrace this crazy state because it's not forever, but I don't think staying up until midnight or 1AM with Ian and then rising at 6:30AM (with many interruptions along the way) with Graeme is sustainable. Oh, Steve is right in there with me - I usually do the late-night shift and he takes care of the morning, but the size and configuration of our house means that quality sleep is hard to come by when kids are awake. I may have to reintroduce the mama-nap time, though sometimes this is more frustrating than it's worth. First, I've taken to taking in some caffeine so settling down at 1PM'ish for a snooze is difficult. Second, getting two kids to sleep at the same time is a feat. I can't tell you the number of times Ian falls asleep and 5 minutes later Graeme is up. I have to un-irritate myself on those days. I return to work in 3 weeks. On one hand I'm terrified of how we are going to make it all work. On the other hand I'm delirious with the thought of long lunches and lazy afternoons in my government issued cubicle...and I'm one of the more productive ones, if I must say so myself.


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