Unanchored Thoughts

Bits and pieces of musings about family, friends, social issues, and whatever else travels through my head without a purpose.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Teeth are white

At Graeme's school they did a lesson on brushing your teeth and the teacher gave the kids cut-out pictures of teeth and a toothbrush to color. They glued them to giant popsicle sticks and hung them on the class bulletin board. Everyone's teeth were colored except for Graeme's. The teacher reported that he wouldn't color the teeth because he said that teeth are white. My child is either very matter-of-fact or a pain-in-the-ass.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Life Just Isn't the Same

In the division of labor in our household one of my responsibilities is managing all of the appointments that happen in our lives...oil changes, dentists, doctors, heating system checks, and vet visits. Madison was due for her annual check-up, so I made an appointment with the vet we used when Knox initally got sick, almost exactly a year ago. I knew that making this appointment would stir up some emotions, but I felt ready for it. When I called to make the appointment I was audibly disappointed when I learned that Dr. Dugan had left the area. He was a very, very kind and thorough vet and I hadn't seen him since Knox's diagnosis, so I had been looking forward to this visit for the opportunity to thank and hug him. With Dr. Dugan gone, I made an appointment with Dr. Brown, the owner. Ian and I took Madison to the appointment, which was a bit of a feat since she adhors the car and had me genuinely fearful for my life on the ride over to the office. She was writhing around in her carrier making guttural sounds and pushing her head out of the zipper (we have one of those hip, purse-like carriers because there are so many times when it is important to look really stylish while toting your pet). I had visions of her springing loose from the carrier and landing on my head so I was prepared to ask the vet for a sedative for the ride home (for Madison, not me, though I probably needed one as well).

I pulled into the parking lot and was a bit overcome with emotion. The last time we were in that lot was the end of May when we arrived to bring Knox's life to an end. I managed to get into the office with my yowling cat and then we all quickly settled down. The office is warm, friendly, comfortable, and literally feels like a living room, complete with house cats wandering around, one of whom took an interest in Ian.

The visit with Dr. Brown was entirely uneventful. He knew our history (which is more attention to detail than I get from my pediatrician, whom I've seen, oh 85 million times in the last two years) and we talked about Knox more than Madison, actually. In fact, when I turned to leave I wasn't entirely sure that he had even looked at her, though such a visit did manage to set me back $150.

I left the office in much the same way I arrived, calmly, but with a bit of emotion. I cried on the way home and spent the afternoon thinking about Knox and realizing that life really just isn't the same without him around. I don't think a day has gone by since he died that I haven't thought about him and wished he was here. I still look in the living room window when I come home half-expecting him to be waiting for me and I can't open the door without making sure he doesn't escape before I realize that he's not here. I still think twice about leaving a glass on a counter-top because he would knock them over if they weren't full enough for him to drink from. And, I very much miss him just following me around the house and sitting right next to me when I work on the computer. I feel so very fortunate to have Madison in our lives. She has definitely come out of her shell over the last year and seems to enjoy life as a single kitty. She's a bit more social than she was when Knox was alive; I think she lived behind his vibrant personality and now shines on her own. Sometimes when I look at Madison I think it's Knox. And, so while I am very grateful to have Madison I miss Knox dearly and long for him daily. Life goes on, but it sure isn't the same without him. I miss you buddy.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Diaper Duty

Graeme has decided that he can and will remove his diaper on occassion. Yesterday, when Steve went in to get him in the morning he was sitting in his crib almost buck-naked. He had removed his pjs, unsnapped his undershirt, taken off his diaper and thrown it across the room. Thankfully, it had #1 contents only. He declared, "My diaper is gross. It's full of pee-pee. PU." Steve contained his laughter and then responded in a matter-of-fact way. Oh, of course, let's get you a new diaper, or something like that.

We laughed about this throughout the day. Apparently enough to encourage him to do a repeat performance. Last night he went to bed at 8, but then chattered for a while. At 10PM we still heard him talking and this time he was saying, "Daddy, can you get me a new diaper." Oh no. We went upstairs and found him naked again and the nearly-dry diaper thrown across the room. I asked him why he took all his clothes off. His response..."these aren't clothes, they're jammies." Duh, mama. Steve put him back together, we got him back in bed and haven't heard a peep yet. Though, I have a feeling he'll be up momentarily. I hope this is all a sign that potty-training is on the horizon. I'm not sure I dig the idea of diaper-chucking as a new pastime.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Making cookies

One of Graeme and my favorite ways to spend an afternoon is cooking. Here are some pictures of our latest adventure. (I've also added a picture of Ian lest you think that he has become a forgotten child.)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


I've heard that parenting is sometimes like walking around with a mirror because kids will fully reflect the mannerisms and behavior they witness. This weekend while doing a puzzle with Graeme he said "good job, mommy" when I put two pieces together. And, when he and Steve completed a puzzle he said "I'm proud of you daddy" Too cute.

My Day Out

I like the stay-at-home mom gig that I have going right now. I'm not sure if its the temporary nature of it that allows me to settle into a pattern of mid-morning coffee (decaf, still), a few puzzles and books, some outdoor time and lunch, naps, and then dinner. I plan it all out as though I'm preparing for my graduate school comprehensive exams. I have the meals organized for the week, laundry neatly folded, and I praise myself when a day goes smoothly (like today) and analyze endlessly when things go awry (every other day). I also enjoy the kinship that comes from being part of the how-do-you-do-it, life-is-so-hard-with-two-kids, you-must-be-exhausted club. So, yesterday when I went to the dentist to have a tooth filled I really did settle into the chair and stretch open my mouth with a bit of relaxation and pleasure at the break that it offered from my day-to-day routine.